Adventures With Furniture

Heart-Stopping Moment of the Week, ladies and gentlemen: on Saturday, I push my trolley mere inches away from the checkout line at IKEA, only to see all my boxes fall to the floor in an unhappy heap. And the young girl scanning my purchases, who has just been apologizing non-stop for taking so long at it...really doesn't do anything.

But that's part of the magic of IKEA. Everything is so tightly packed up that apart from a few tiny holes in the cardboard boxes, there's no signs of damage whatsoever! (And if something is wrong, they have a heck of a good return policy.)

The fact that I was able to get to IKEA in the first place is due to that great blessing of this year, my friendship with the Earth Mother and the GameMaster. They love IKEA, and they love taking people to IKEA in their very nice car, and browisng at IKEA and finding things to gather for their own new home and lunching on Swedish goodness (I had an open-faced shrimp sandwich, by the way).

My goal was to acquire furniture sufficient to last me several years, and in this, I believe I succeeded. Two tables, two lamps, two chairs (office and easy), a 5x5 bookshelf set, a television stand/coffee table hybrid, a shelving unit, and a very good large writing desk, plus assorted odds and ends...the latter included a very colorful housewarming gift for the Wolverine and the Russian Warrior Princess.

Unfortunately, the Earth Mother and the GameMaster also took a spill, and they were not as lucky as I appeared to be. They bought a lovely TV stand/cabinet set of their own from the as-is department. In moving it, after the Earth Mother took out the glass shelves, I suggested we remove the drawers as well, but the GameMaster said that was not necessary. Of course, guess what fell out and got dented? (I take a chunk of the blame since I was helping to carry it.)

My entire Swedish haul, including delivery, lunch, and the always delightful dollar ice cream, came to under $700. Buying a bed in Hyde Park is a different proposition. It turns out that one store on 53rd Street which shall remain nameless misquotes their box spring prices, charges for frames, and has a $55 delivery fee even when you live just four blocks away! Then the manager looked really, really serious, we're talking Blaxploitation-detective serious, when I decided I did not want to buy a mattress today. Now on the other hand, there's ANOTHER mattress store on 53rd Street where the mattress and springs come together for the same price as a mattress alone at the other store! And frames are sturdy and cheap! And the manager also could not give me free delivery, but now I only have to pay twenty bucks! Needless to say, after testing a comfy Serta (which I flopped right down on to his approval), I was sold.

Furniture is nice. Mine may not have the history yet (the S.O.'s rug has been in the family ever since her parents got together) or the otherworldly aura (Superman and the Hardest Working Girl in Hollywood own the comfiest couch ever), but it will get there.