Necessary Deaths

Today, during a break from three job applications and typing an entire volume's worth of Trollope notes, the shadow of the past cast itself over my present. Checking for news about the explosions from Transformers 3 which the S.O., the Earth Mother, the GameMaster*, and I had seen on Sunday, I found that Shia LaBoeuf was going to star in a motion picture going into production soon which sounded really familiar. Turns out I read the screenplay three years ago during my employment for Pretty Pictures! I dug up my old report and found the following sentence:

(NAME WITHHELD) has written an entirely unique screenplay which, if ever filmed, will either become an instant cult classic or a flop which will ruin careers and reputations.

So be warned. But for the immediate purposes of this entry, the memory sent me back into the past and how much I enjoyed reading for the old company, a time I am reminded of every day as I tinker with my resume and cover letter and remember all the work I did. It was a fantastic job, but it also put the seeds of the literary scholar within me, and once there, they were quick to take root.

Once in a while the best things in life—what you think are the best things—will lead to things even better for you than you could have originally imagined. I would never have met the S.O. earned my master's, or found myself in this amazing community had I stayed in Hollywood through some twist of luck. I don't know how much cause and effect there was here…I hesitate to say that my training in Emerson led directly to this degree, this life…but I do know that the Los Angeles years were necessary to push me in the direction I'm going now. And they died the necessary death at the necessary time.

I don't know where I'll end up next or if this time will ever end…but WHEN that happens, I'll feel it with every bone in my body. Chicago might push me to New York, to Europe, maybe just to Evanston. It doesn't matter, because that spot will be one of my own volition, my own act of rebirth.